When I first signed up for the chance to review this book, I was explaining it to my husband. I told him the book was about ‘helicopter moms’ and I told him I thought I would be perfect for the tour.
Me: “Because, well you know, I’m multi-tasking with staying home with the girls and managing my two websites.”
My husband: “What do you think the term ‘helicopter mom’ means?”
Me: “You know, my arms are everywhere. I’m busy doing a lot of things.”
He then explained to me that the term helicopter mom meant ‘to hover’ over your kids.
Me: “Oh.”
My husband: “Don’t worry, you are still a GREAT fit for this book.”
And there it was. My husband jokingly confirmed what I knew deep down but didn’t want to admit. I hover, a little too much.
I had never thought that by worrying and protecting my girls as much as I do, that they might be missing out on a chance to develop.
In the new book, Drop the WorryBall: How to Parent in the Age of Entitlement, by Dr. Alex Russell with Tim Falconer, I came to the shocking realization that if I try to protect them too much from every little thing in the world, that I am in fact taking their ability to worry for themselves away from them.
I need to admit, that taking some of the advice in this book was, and still is hard. I always tell my daughter to be careful when I see her going up and down stairs. I think it is more about me than her. I know I would never forgive myself if I didn’t say something and there was a horrible accident. All I keep hearing in my head is that it just takes a second for something to go wrong and when that second happens, you can never undo it. Just thinking about it makes my eyes well up with tears. Thanks to this book though, I have cut back a lot of my vocal warnings and I’ve learned to sit a little farther back. I still have mini internal ‘moments’, but I am careful now in regards to the message that I am sending externally.
This book is a good tool for parents who worry about their kids (which is all of us, right?). It provides real life situations, how they were handled and the outcomes.
There is a great graph in this book about how much (percentage) of a childs life is the child’s responsibility and how much is the parent’s. My oldest daughter is four years old, and I was expecting to see a big fat zero beside the child’s responsibility, but at this stage it is actually 20%. It is more of an awakening to the fact that my girls are growing up and I can help them, or I can hold them back, and I don’t want to hold them back.
My girls are four years old and one year old so although many of the stories did not pertain to them (because they are ‘older’ issues), it still gave me a great base to start with now that they are young.
This book won’t give you step by step instructions on how to make your kids think for themselves, but it will give you an understanding of how to begin to let go and hand that WorryBall over to your kids so they can learn how to properly deal with it themselves.
GIVEAWAY: One lucky This Bird’s Day reader will win one copy of Drop the WorryBall.
To enter: Leave a comment below telling me if you think you are a helicopter mom like me or not and why.
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GIVEAWAY – Enter to win a copy of Drop the #WorryBall @ThisBirdsDay at http://www.thisbirdsday.com/?p=5257 CAD only
This contest is open to residents of Canada only and runs until 9pm MST on Friday, June 22, 2012. You may enter across multiple blogs for this prize, but may only win one prize.
Disclosure – I am participating in the Drop the Worry Ball by Mom Central Canada on behalf of Wiley & Sons Canada. I received compensation as a thank you for participating and for sharing my honest opinion. The opinions on this blog are my own.
I tweeted about the giveaway. :)
https://twitter.com/runrgal2/status/216015719651999746
@runrgal2
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@runrgal2
Hi! Love this post. I am definitely a helicopter mom like you. Why? My mom just returned from visiting my 8 and 5 year old nephews down south and she’s been reminding me how much more independent those two are than my 10 and 13 year old! I’m the mama bear whose cubs are always with me. In fact, I usually have everyone else’s children because mine don’t venture very far without me and yet they have a healthy social life – its just usually with us. Oh dear… I really do need to read this book :)
I am a helicopter mom for sure. When my husband tells me the girls are fine I know to relax a little bit.